


What Do We Do Now?

by Alahmnat



Category: Guild Wars 2 (Video Game)
Genre: All or Nothing, Death, Gen, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-13 08:09:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19247230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alahmnat/pseuds/Alahmnat
Summary: The Commander deals with the aftermath of the battle with Kralkatorrik in Living World Season 4 Episode 5: All or Nothing.





	What Do We Do Now?

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The War Eternal trailer](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/490996) by Arenanet. 



> This was inspired by the monologue that Zafirah has in the trailer for Episode 6: War Eternal.

_"What do we do now?"_

Braham's words still echoed in my head. A pleading, begging question that mirrored my own as I fell to my knees beside Aurene's lifeless form.

After all of this... After everything... So many plans, so many struggles, so many close calls and near misses... only to fail in the end. What _do_ we do now?

_"I don't know."_

I wish I had a better answer. For so long now, my friends and allies have looked to me for guidance, for clarity, for answers. And for so long, I've had some wild scheme, or a clever retort, or even just some half-forgotten trick plucked from a thread of the Dream to help propel us forward. Even in the Crystal Desert, when the human gods turned their backs on us as Balthazar unspooled his crazed plan and left us with nothing, we still had a shred of hope that we could unearth something to use in our fight.

Now...

Aurene was our last hope. Our light in the darkness. _My_ light in the darkness. She bore the impossible weight of Glint's legacy with strength and dignity far beyond her years. She trusted me, and I led her into battle against her grandsire knowing that she was afraid, on the whisper of a chance that we could succeed. I tell myself that she was smart, that she knew what she was getting into, that she chose to stand and fight with us on her own... but did she? Or did she do it out of obligation to me? Did she believe we could win, or was she just one more unwitting soul thrown into the meat grinder that my path through the world has become?

I've been forced to deal with so much loss since my awakening beneath the Pale Tree. First they were small things; things I had no real control over, like Ysvelta's fall into Nightmare. Then Sieran, who laid down her life so that Trahearne and I could escape Claw Island with the Vigil's wounded. But then I joined the Pact, and I lost Apatia, who fell to darkness because I could not save her from the krait in time. Over time, the losses under my watch grew. The war against Zhaitan claimed so many lives... death is inevitable in war, and yet, I fear the thought of becoming accustomed to it. When the dragon was finally defeated, we hoped that it would usher in a new time of peace, but it was not to be. Scarlet Briar strangled that fragile peace in its cradle, bringing death and destruction to parts of Tyria that even Zhaitan had not yet reached. Tasked though I was with stopping her, her defeat came with its own terrible cost: Mordremoth's awakening.

From that moment I can trace a single line through everything that has happened to arrive at this one. It, too, is coated in the blood of my friends and allies. The Zephyrites, Aerin, the Master of Peace, the Pact... Eir and Trahearne. Even Mordremoth's defeat ultimately empowered a new foe in Balthazar, and _his_ defeat only served to empower Joko and Kralkatorrik. Because of me, the crystal dragon claimed most of Balthazar's magic, and now runs free in the Mists, threatening to tear apart the very fabric of our world. Perhaps Ventari was right, "you cannot expect the world to give you peace".

Through it all, though, there was Aurene. And Caithe...

Caithe…

My stomach turns when I think back to how I treated her during the campaign against Mordremoth. In the moment, Caithe's distrust cut me deeply. But now I understand that she was also doing what she thought was right, and that anyone trying to take the egg from her was a possible threat – _especially_ if that someone was also sylvari. I wish she had trusted me then, but someone can only have their trust broken so many times before they lose it altogether.

It must have stung her when Aurene chose me as her champion, after investing so much of herself in caring for her egg. I was so pleased – and proud – when Aurene... "branded" is the wrong word... "adopted" Caithe as her voice. Finally, after so long, she had been given a purpose by someone she loved, and who truly loved her back. It was a delicious irony, in a way... a woman destined to be the mindless pawn of an elder dragon, instead sharing the will of the dragon that would replace them. When her crystal blossoms faded, I knew there was no hope that Aurene had somehow survived Kralkatorrik's final blow. When I close my eyes, I can still see the petals falling away, a quiet sparkle still audible over the sound of Taimi's wracking sobs.

I didn't cry for days. Though I put on a strong face for my friends, my life so far has left me... hollowed. There is a numbness to grief that comes with being a soldier. Between that and the enormity of this loss, I couldn't even begin to process it. As I stumbled out of the Auditorium and back into the forge, I couldn't even speak. The Zephyrite choir that fed the production of our dragon's blood weapons was twisted now, a morbid dirge instead of a prayerful hymn. I haven't been back to the forge since the battle, but I suspect they're still chanting, still forging. After all, with Kralkatorrik still out there, his branded armies are stronger than ever.

Eventually, though, the tears did come, and when they did, they did not stop. I made my way back to the Pale Mother through their stinging burn, and wept at her feet. I don't know for how long. Hours? Days? I cried out my apologies to her, begged her forgiveness for failing, for being so arrogant as to think that I could stop Kralkatorrik, and for dooming the world by losing Aurene in the process. The enormity of the past five years – my _only_ five years – poured out of me, until finally, Mother placed her hand on my head to calm my spirit. "Life can be painful, my child," she said, echoing Ventari's words. "But do not fear. The hour is never truly lost, as long as you have faith. I know it may seem impossible, but there is always a way forward. Go, Valient, and reflect on this for a time. Perhaps the answers you seek will come to you in the Dream."

Zafirah found me yesterday. I don't know how. Perhaps Mother contacted her. Still, she must be a truly skilled tracker to follow me halfway across the world to the secluded part of Arbor Bay where I had made camp. I expected her to be angry, or disappointed. After all, I had dragged her into this fight after killing her god, only for her to have what little hope there still was snatched out from under her. Instead, she merely leaned her rifle up against a rock and sat down heavily beside me, and we both stared out into the sea for a time.

"I'm sor–" I began, my eyes still fixed on the horizon.

"I don't blame you, Commander," she said, cutting me off. "Not now, anyway. Oh sure, I did at first, what with all the talk about prophecies and grand plans. I got swept up in it, having something to believe in again after Balthazar's betrayal. For a moment, it really seemed like it was going to work. But maybe it was all wrong. Maybe this world is destined to die..."

"Then why are you here?" I asked.

"Because even if this world is doomed, for as long as I can see down my scope I won't stop fighting to prevent it."

She turned to look at me before continuing, "In the Book of Balthazar is written: 'War is life, and life is brief. Death comes, but death's not death that breathes life into others, and life's not life that never dares to risk. The world is loss, and grief, and faith, and hope. Then take heart, and re-join the war eternal, for it may be that death is not the end, but possibly the end of the beginning.'"

"You still want me to come back?" I said.

"Yes," she replied. "Your friends need you. Tyria needs you. Aurene needs you."

I winced.

"So, Commander," she asked, pulling herself to her feet and offering her hand to me. "What do we do now?"

For a moment I hesitated. But then I felt a tingle in the back of my mind... a calling. Maybe it wasn't over yet. Maybe there was still something we could do. Or maybe not. Tyria was still worth defending, regardless. I reached out to take Zafirah's hand. "I don't know," I said as she pulled me up. "But let's find out together."


End file.
